Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Act III - Crazed Woman in the Body of Don Quixote
(Continued from yesterday)
The lead actress secured the helmet and pushed her hair inside the helmet because the stuntman was not a very good double. The bike had been cranked for her. She revved the motor. Kicked it in gear, while holding in the clutch.
Then the lead actress/producer yelled, “Action!”
Blocks of wood secured the double doors leading into the front of the sanctuary. And the lead actress/producer raced through the foyer and into the main sanctuary. She stopped at the altar and yelled, “Cut!”
“I got that,” said the cameraman. “Now we just need to do some takes on you just coming from the back of the sanctuary to the altar. We can edit the other.”
The lead actress/producer rockets to the front, stops the motorcycle at the altar, and loses her balance and falls into the front row in the sanctuary. Chairs tumbled. Her helmet went down at the altar like a repentant sinner. It got cock-eyed on her head. Then she wrestled with her skin and bones, trying to upright herself.
Well, the cameraman who caught it all on tape and the lead actress/producer and stuntman came unglued. We laughed and laughed. Then the lead actress/producer repositioned herself and made another run to the altar.
She killed the motor, took off her helmet, swinging her hair as if it were a shampoo commercial, and said, “I bet you didn’t know a 40-year-old preacher’s wife could do that. And while you are watching this video, I will be here at the altar praying to be on Survivor.” Then she closes with a one-of-a-kind, never heard before plea, “Please, pleezzz, can I be on Survivor? Pleezzzzz.” She says it with the animation of a small child.
Four years later, no call from the producers of Survivor.
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© 2007 by Robert Stofel